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Or, When Your Man Has an Affair With His Left Hand…
This is the first installment of a serialized article by Militant Ginger - rolandhulme.blogspot.com.
Let’s be brutally honest about sex and pregnancy. For most men, their partner’s curvy ‘pregnancy’ body is wildly sexy and beautiful. There’s something sensual and uninhibited about making love to a pregnant woman and many men remember ‘pregnant sex’ as some of the best of their relationship.
But pregnancy is also very disruptive to a ‘regular’ sex life- when one partner’s ‘in the mood’ the other sometimes isn’t. Women can feel exhausted or self-conscious, while men can find the whole pregnancy thing unsettling. Nothing wilts an erection faster than feeling a baby give a disgruntled kick mid-coitus! The fact is, there are plenty of occasions during a nine-month pregnancy when a man is left sexually frustrated; even more following the birth, when doctors recommend a six-week break before Mom can resume sexual activity.
Now, I’ve read dozens of articles about how pregnancy affects a couple’s sex life – but none of them have been brave enough to address one topic: discovering their partner masturbating. Nobody ever discusses this rather embarrassing topic, which means many women are horrified when they find their husband or boyfriend ‘taking care of business’ without them.
Pregnancy is an emotional enough experience already! Finding out that a husband masturbates in secret leads most women to worry that they no longer find them attractive - or that it is a precursor to them satisfying their sexual needs elsewhere. But wives and girlfriends don’t need to worry. All husbands and boyfriends masturbate occasionally - especially when a couple’s sex life undergoes the upheaval of pregnancy. It is very common, people just never talk about it. That’s where the problems start. It’s time to address this problem head on and learn more from a male perspective.
I’ve been spending some time lately catching up with the amazing group of bloggers EF’s review program is graced with. Sure, you probably all know about Essin’ Em, AAG, and maybe one or two others, but I bet there are a good few or more you haven’t noticed yet. As I don’t have a blog myself, I have some time to peruse the blogs (sex-related and other) proliferating on the internet these days. Sorry, that wasn’t meant to sound so poetic. So, I’ll be doing a weekly roundup of sorts, highlighting some of the best, or funniest, or whatever-the-hell-I-want-to-show, blog posts from reviewers.
Alright, so this one isn’t exactly current, but it’s funny enough that I had to share it. This is why I warn over and over about not sticking things in your butt that aren’t meant to go in there. And Medusa didn’t even break that rule! I know she linked to this story in her review, but hey, I wasn’t around yet and I’m sure someone else missed that too.
I found this post linked by Ellie Lumpesse, who also has an excellent podcast- check it out! I’ve been reading up on her ‘Musings on Masculinity‘ series, myself. Back the the original link though — it’s an excellent reminder for anyone who believes themselves to be sex-positive that there’s some added responsibility that comes with the fun.
That’s all for today. Coming up tomorrow: the first installment of a series about masturbation and pregnancy by Militant Ginger.
The SaSi is, perhaps, the beginning of a new generation of smarter vibrators. Vibrators that are actually machines, not just motors with batteries. Why? Well, it remembers what you like. I find this hard to imagine, but knowing how far computer technology has come it’s not that hard to believe. Basically, it is pre-programmed with 5 different motion settings. It has two modes- random and ‘learn’ mode. In learn mode, SaSi will change from one movement to another; if you don’t like one, skip it. If you do, press another button to keep it there. Next time you turn it on, it will remember what you skipped, what you liked, and change its pattern accordingly.
Sasi is unique not just for the memory component, but also because of the kind of motion it offers- a nub that simulates a finger moving around, rather than just vibrating (though it does that too). The medical grade silicone sleeve is removable in two pieces (fascia and cover), for better cleaning or if you want to change colors of one or both sides.
No longer a Babeland exclusive, we got the toy in just before its UK/Europe launch in the fall.
“Just like a good partner,” according to Je Joue’s site, “SaSi gives a different experience every time whilst still incorporating the movements you like best.” Wouldn’t that be novel. There might finally be something to that whole ridiculous fear of being replaced by toys.
For a more visual explanation of this remarkable toy, check out Fleshbot’s video demonstration.
Edited 8/29 to add: Also see Bulma’s review!
Genkigirl proves that these nipple clamps are not just decorative in her review (I kinda thought they were).
I can’t agree with her on the choice of sex toy material, but Miss Cinnamon wrote an excellent review of the G-spot Tickler.
Sometimes the discussion is as good as the article- so was the case for Bulma’s review of an o-ring set. Her review was excellent as always, but I was more interested in the resulting comments about cock ring usage.
This is not an interest I have, but it’s a fun word to say (try it!). Klismaphilia is essentially an enema fetish- it denotes the experience of sexual pleasure from thinking about or actually receiving an enema. It’s classified as a paraphilia; depending on who you ask, that means either sexual dependency, unhealthy obsession, or simply nontraditional sexual fantasies/behavior. Read the rest of this entry »
… A vibrating bang, that is. I know you missed me. I’ve been out of town (in more than one destination) for the past week. Here again though, bringing you the top 3 reviews for vibrating toys (I know a majority of toys fall into this category, but it’s more interesting with a theme, m’k).
1. Doc Johnson and Vivid teamed up to design the offspring of two rabbit vibes- the Vivid Bunny. This review by Sin Secret makes me think the toy achieved the good part of those dual vibes- good clit stimulation.
2. It bends, it vibrates, it as bumps- AND it feels good. According to LubedMuse, at least. Their review: “A cicada as opposed to a giant bullfrog”. Go read the rest.
3. Hey everyone, a vibrating cock ring that works! I do appreciate the name of the toy too. Both members of coupling couple were happy with the vibrating abilities of this item. Don’t take my word for it, take theirs.
As I sit here, slaving over a hot pot of boiling dildos, I feel a bit like some kind of demented and slightly kinky housewife, stirring up my cocks for the requisite three minutes, before carefully removing them to the drain rack as I insert another batch into the scalding liquid.
It’s kind of hot, and I don’t just mean temperature wise.
I really like sterilizing my toys. a) it means I got to use them, and not just with myself, so that’s always a plus. b) it reassures me a little regarding safer sex and being in control of my own health. And c) come on! There is something just a little perverted about unloading a dishwasher full of dildos, or a pot full of butt plugs.
Currently, I’m stewing a pasta pot full of silicone toys, but it’s important to note that silicone is not the only material that can be cleaned this way. I also love the Pure Wand for many reasons; one being that Stainless Steel can also be sterilized. Of course, anything made of glass (dildos, butt plugs, etc) is also part of the sexy sterilization family. Lastly, joining this dazzling array of sterilizable toys is the oh so formidable Goldfrau, a ceramic dildo made down under (and no, I don’t mean under my skirt!).
How does one sterilize these toys?
One of three ways.
1) Pot, meet water. Water, pot. It’s getting hot in here…212 degrees to be exact! Boil that water, and then introduce your toys to the orgy. Keep ‘em in for at least three minutes (a little more is ok, you don’t need a kitchen timer). This zaps the bacteria (including STIs), and once you’ve dried them out, you’re good to go. After they’ve cooled down a bit, you can use them, and they’re still pleasantly warm…just make sure you remember the cooled down part first!
2) If you’re lucky enough to have a dishwasher (I just got my first!), you can run them through on the top shelf, with no soap. I know this may seem like a waste of water; save ‘em up until you’ve got enough for an almost full top load…and you can always stick things in the bottom, like bread cutting boards, plastic storage containers, etc, to fill the load. Then invite a lucky someone over, and have a dishwasher unloading party. It’s kind of like foreplay, right?
3) Wipe them down with a 10% bleach solution. I know I always say that, but you want to know what it is, right? 1 part bleach (ye olde clorox is just fine) to 9 parts water. Mix. Use a sponge, towel, etc, to wipe down the toy (this works great for silicone vibes, like any of the Lelo products!) THEN RINSE OFF THE TOY BEFORE YOU USE IT. Vaginas/anuses and bleach are NOT buddies, and never the two shall entwine. That’s just a bad plan.
And if cleaning your toys isn’t sex enough for you, you can always get a sexy toy cleaning apron to put you in the mood. Mine is leopard print (of course!), and I like to wear it…and nothing else!
Enjoy sterilizing those near and dear to your heart (and vagina!)
Ok, so I know not everyone in the entire world is on the internet ALL the time…so that’s why I’m here to help!
In case you haven’t heard about/discovered it yet, a new group blog has been launched: www.BestSexBloggers.com. Basically, it’s a conglomerate of a ton of really awesome sex bloggers who have gotten together and decided to post all this sex and sexuality awesomeness in one place. Many of our reviewers and writers are writing on there, as well as some well known and awesome names (and there will be some original reviews of Eden products on there, linking to here of course!)
Whose on it? Well, me, of course!
ANNNNNND:
*Catalina Loves
*Marky D. Sade
*Wendy Blackheart
*Sinclair Sexsmith
*Ellie Lumpesse
*Graydancer
*Lolita Wolf
*Audacia Ray
And the list goes on. Plus, there are beautiful photographs by some outstanding artists.
Ergo, check it out. www.BestSexBloggers.com. Read up on your sex and sexuality. And enjoy being in the loop. As someone who is usually out of it….it must be nice 
This week’s picks:
1. Lara nailed it when she said “absence does indeed make the heart grow (a little) bit fonder” in her review of the Lucid Dream No. 28. Hate that new toy? Throw it in a box for a year, maybe it’ll be better second time around.
2. Maybe it’s because I’m in my way to the airport (and share pornojo101’s opinion), but I really enjoyed this review of smut.
3. Programmable vibrator. Fascinating. Check out BlueEyedBitch’s review of it here.
I’ll be out of town for a family affair, so your regular Word column most likely won’t be appearing this week. See you next week!
I don’t have a sex blog, so maybe I have more of a psychological speed-bump to get over than those who already air their sex lives on the internet, but I think Bedpost is just an advanced version of a scorecard, notches on the bedpost, etc. I’m also sure someone might come up with a compelling defense about the worth of this site that might convince me otherwise, but I won’t be jumping on the site-wagon anytime soon.
Any cyclists struggling with penile dysfunction (or a partner’s)? Might be time to blame your bike. Bike saddles aren’t exactly comfortable for anyone; I’d certainly like to test one of these no-nose alternatives.
I’m thinking about starting a weekly best-of-blogs for all those great sex bloggers/Eden reviewers out there. I doubt I know about all of you yet, so leave me a comment with your site!
This is my last of many parts of writing about my fantabulous experiences at Thunder in the Mountains, an amazing kink/BDSM convention in the Rockies.
I had the joy of taking two classes with John Pendal, and am kinda sorta maybe deeply in love with him, and not entirely because he has a British accent, or because he willingly put on and pulled duct tape off his back in the middle of class.
No, I like John because he is a fan of kink for everyone. Just like I’m always talking about BDSM being so all-encompassing (blindfolds and sensation play, cute restraints, etc….not just whips and chains!) he feels that BDSM should go to the masses, that everyone should be able to play with kink, regardless of how they look, how much money they can spent on toys, what fancy-schmancy knots they know in regards to rope tying, etc. He wants everyone to be able to practice it. Read the rest of this entry »
Most of you will recognize this week’s word as a common term for butt; it may also recall memories of the fanny pack, one of the more memorable fashion offerings of the 80’s. ‘Fanny’ meaning butt is specific to this particular country- the U.S.- and is a fairly new slang term (within the past 50 years or so). In other English-speaking parts of the world, namely British locales, ‘fanny’ is slang for vulva. I’ve always been curious about this variance, so this week I did a little research on the subject. Read the rest of this entry »
Here’s another installment in my saga of Thunder in the Mountains. Saturday night was the talent show, and while I still can’t get my mind off of Felice Shays fisting a watermelon, there were some other awesome acts as well, from singing to dancing to hoola-hooping to rope demos. Some people who actually follow my Twitter were kind enough to meet up with me (it was easy: “Look for the woman with the polka dot and zebra print crutches!”), and I was able to meet with a couple of awesome BDSMers from around the country…that was really cool (and one of the great things about conventions like this).
Sunday was the last day, and before classes even started, I was already sad to leave. The amazing number of well known people in the kink scene who showed up was staggering (PS - can I say that Midori is WAY hotter than person than she looks online? And that she’s an amazing presenter?). Plus, people who aren’t well known also had new sorts of tricks up their sleeves, and had lots to teach me as well. Read the rest of this entry »
Toys that seem like a good idea…
1. The Snugglepuss. Dame Demi (who might as well be called a resident sex toy expert) talks about her experience with it here. For something that does the same things, better, check out the Rock Chick or Zone.
2. Another powerful bullet vibe. Always a good idea, yes? Except that it’s been done so many times, metallic blue finish just won’t cut it anymore, as Epiphora explains here. Check out the Xtreme Pack G-spot bullet vibe.
3. Names like “The Barfing Mode” and “The Motorcycle Shifting Mode” when describing the various settings on a vibrator. These descriptors are definitely a good idea. West Coastin’ gets the third spot this week just for the entertainment value of his review of the Insatiable Butterfly. Check out the silicone version of this toy, or something like the Zone (again with the g-spot toys, we are a nation obsessed) or Gigi.
My format this week is stolen from/inspired by/directing you to a new feature on Eden that I’m pretty excited about. It recommends better toys on the page of a lower-quality item — so now you can really weed through the sea of jelly and find some better toys.
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