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What can I say, there’s too much to do and not enough time. But I was particularly inspired to get this post up today when I came across J.D. Bauchery’s HM4h post on giving the perfect handjob. It was her rant about ‘foreplay’ being equally as valid/important a sex act as the ‘act’ (intercourse, traditionally) itself. Fuck, yes. That’s all I have to say about that. Oh, there are some pretty damn good tips for handjobs too.
I do love a glimpse into the internal dialogue of a relationship, not just of one partner. Finn, of Storm’s blog, provided just that this week. Well, I’m sure he was mostly just trying to get laid again, but his sheepish remorse in a public forum probably accomplished that nicely.
And, I’m overwhelmed with all the other posts I’ve missed in recent weeks, so I’ll leave you with those. Go learn how to give good handjobs to anyone with a cock, flesh or otherwise.
This week, Kristen of Hot Movies chats with rising porn star Asa Akira. Find out who in the industry she’s afraid to have sex with. Poor Kristen, last time she was well on her way to bagging the interviewee before the camera went off, and this time Asa tells her she can’t even take her out, get her drunk, and take her home (Asa doesn’t drink). Oh well, there are 10 more to go! She’s bound to get lucky with one of them.
That means porn star interviews for you all through the holiday season, so check back every Tuesday for a little pick-me-up (if you hate this time of year half as much as I do, you’ll need it!) What’s that you say? It’s not Tuesday anymore? I know, there were technical difficulties yesterday, but here is the lovely Asa.
Hi, everybody!
I’m Matthew, the new Chief Editor/Grand Poohbah for the EdenFantasys Guides section. But feel free to call me Mr. Superlove. Or Dickface. I’ll usually answer to either.
Currently, I’m working on putting together a series of Holiday Shopping Guides – but alas, I have no worker-elves, and Santa’s holding out on that new batch of Hitachis. Never trust your sexual wares to a large man garbed in red felt. No good can come of it.
Well, almost no good. Because my stunning lack of vision is your – yes, YOUR gain! Now we need your help! What sex toy would YOU most want this Holiday season?
To answer that question, we at EdenFantasys are starting up a new Holiday-themed contest – open to ALL members of the EdenFantasys community. It’s a pretty simple one – if you could receive any sex toy for the Holidays, what would it be, and why?
Your submission should start with that idea, “what I want most this Holiday season…”
Or, you could change it up a bit, to suit your own style…
“On the first day of Christmas, my poly-vee leather-dominant submissive non-binary Nth (there is no truth!) love gave to me…”
But! There’s more! There will be three – count ‘em down with me – 1, 2, 3 – winning entries selected by a blue-ribbon panel of literati intelligentsia, out of work fluffers, and the ghost of Christmas past (who’s cranky because in his non-corporeal state, he can’t use his new Flip Hole).
Those three winning entrants will see their work put on-site in EdenFantasys’ Holiday Shopping Guide ‘08 – ANNNNND win a prize:
First Prize: $100
Second Prize: $75
Third Prize: $50
Prizes will be paid via check or PayPal.
Submissions should be sent to EFContest@gmail.com. The deadline date for submissions is Sunday, November 30, aught-eight. Winners will be announced on Friday, December 5, still in the year aught-eight.
Be creative. Be specific. Be grammatically sound; or at least, be in the vicinity of the goal-line. Be fun. Have fun. Toy around. And get your toy on!
Anyone familiar with Foxxy Kitty’s reviews should know why this particular toy was a perfect match for her. I mean, what better than the Pleasure Periscope for someone who revels in talking about her body in the explicit way that Foxxy does? To read all about it in great detail, check out her review.
It’s an ass day, clearly. Red Roulette submitted what I think is by far his best work yet, a tale of reaming his tail. That is, his wife gently penetrated him with this large butt plug.
Ice Ice Baby finally turns to the world of silicone for her anal adventures. As she put it: “I thought if so many people were sticking things in their assholes there must be something to it? right?” The Severin butt plug (which sounds more intimidating than it is) served her well.
Speaking of butts, look at this: a robotic walking assist device that attaches to your butt!
I’m already anxiously reloading the CNN page to watch the first results roll in (as of this writing, only KY and VT are determined), and I’m sure you are too…what better way to take a break from the drama of waiting on election results than by checking out another porn star interview?
This week, a newer addition to the adult industry, Casey Parker, talks about her various Shane’s World experiences, including a mention of her first girl-on-girl anal fisting experience, and possibly grabs Kristen’s (of Hot Movies for Her) crotch. Lucky Kristen. Check it out:
As Kristen says in her post of the interview, I’m pretty sure Casey is crazy. In a good way.
As usual, Backseat Boohoo has managed to make something incredibly simple sound pretty exciting. When it comes to condoms, that can only be a good thing. My own sexual predilections don’t often require condom usage, but if and when I need to purchase some, her review of Durex High Sensations has me sold.
Yes, it has a funny name. It also looks more like a modern silicone sculpture than most of the other toys that share its category, but I think that’s a good thing. Couple of Kink thought it was a bit boring, but I love the understated and effective design. This vibrating cock ring actually looks like an Adult toy, not a child’s toy gone wrong, and their couples review shows that it fits the bill.
A new reviewer, EagleFire, wrote a great review of a classic, the Echo. She’s happy with it after every kind of testing possible. ‘Nuff said.
It’s been a tough decision, but we have finally chosen a recipient for the campaign award. Two, in fact. We couldn’t decide between our top two picks, so we added to the fund and instituted a first ($200) and second ($100) prize.
Our first winner caught my attention with her widget choice: “Come for the dildos, stay for the pie.” She managed to seamlessly incorporate excessive flattery and useful critique in her post, and that’s what we like to see. No, really. 
I do hope that her shockingly expensive order, made a little less expensive by the 30% discount the campaign offered, arrived on her birthday. First prize goes to Spiking Glue. Check out her entire post “Frugal desire in a polite society”.
Our second winner asks at the end of her post “Have I drowned you in enough sap yet?” And, indeed, she wrote a most touching piece about the Eden community and its role in her own life. Her experience is the paragon of what this community strives to be, and I was happy to read about that success with at least one member. Read Epiphora’s entire post (which made it in just under the wire by email, since she was having posting problems) “One Year in Eden”.
Thanks so much to everyone who participated; you’ll all be receiving a free gift from us. We want to continue this process with future campaigns, new widgets, and of course, more prizes, so let us know what you’d like to see!
We were lucky enough to recently have an opportunity to interview a number of porn stars at an industry warehouse show. PBR Princess, from the Hot Movies blog, jumped on board for the trip itself and made personal contact (not that kind, you perv!) with 13 different stars. So, starting now, and for the next 12 weeks, welcome to Porn Star Tuesdays.
First up, Lisa Ann, of current fame for her role in “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin”, which is slated for release on the upcoming election day. She has the star role of Palin in the Hustler film, but that’s far from her current most exciting project. Check out the full interview to find out what else she’s excited about:
To see Lisa Ann in something less politically tinged, check out Fishnets 4. If you want to use the same sex toys she does, see the Evolved line, partially displayed below.
Symphony Opus
Bliss
Symphony Sonata
Not everyone seems to have taken to High Eff’s convoluted, sometimes violent metaphors the way I have. But no matter, I’m enjoying his refreshing reviews and penchant for alien-looking toys, like this masturbation sleeve.
Backseat Boohoo (she’s becoming a regular around here) is getting married. To the TantraBeam. Here’s why. Between her review and the updated pictures show more clearly how this toy goes on, I’m about to get one myself.
Sometimes, books that feature a lovely ass with a thing and high heels on the cover can still surprise you. Or me, at least. Thanks to Domina Doll for sharing what’s inside this provocative compilation.
And, just because it looks nice (or maybe it’s the name), check out this review of the Anal Invader with Cock Cage. Yeah, it’s the name. The toy itself looks like it could snap from the pressure of a particularly strong erection.
Part VI of Life.Love.Cancer is up.
Starting soon, we’ll be sharing a series of interviews with some porn stars that we were lucky enough to snag at a recent private show. First up (tomorrow!) is Lisa Ann, currently starring in Hustler’s timely porn “Nailin’ Paylin”.
I skipped last week to be away at a day-long sex ed conference, and all kinds of good things cropped up in the ensuing period. Just a reminder for new readers, this is a roundup I do weekly of blogs run by anyone associated with EF (mainly those in the review program). If you’re new to the site and have a blog I haven’t seen yet, leave me a comment! If you’re starting a new blog and have been around for a while, do the same.
For starters, all gay-temptation-fearing men should head over to the Hot Movies For Her blog and watch this video.
Sin Secret has been sharing segments from a friend’s exploration into submission. I’ve been enjoying the reads, but particularly the newest post, which is a letter from her master.
Have I told you about my small crush on Baby Sinead yet? Here’s why (hint: there is a harness on her head, and it’s up on CL). Oh, and here’s why some more (no pictures here, more thoughtful rant).
And, I guess I’ll concede to that-time-of-year; political campaign/voting time, that is. Sinclair Sexsmith kicks off his 8against8 week with a retrospective of sorts on the first lesbian couple to marry in San Francisco after the state’s ban on same-sex marriage was overturned last May. Oh yeah, there was also a debate last week. That’s all over the internet, go read about it somewhere else.
Ansley has posted her reviews of all five lubes (linked in chronological order). I love her simple format: Pros, Cons, Summary, Stars, and a short video for each lube. Her final call: ID Pleasure is the only one that gets 5/5 stars, for good warming without any unpleasant burning sensations, all around good lube profile, and a good price.
More updates coming soon!
I am tired and busy today, so here are some good reviews. Go read them. Leave me alone.
Trixxy, a new reviewer, on the Onye. Really, there’s one line of this review that caught my attention and earned its place here. Can you guess which one?
Ariane checks out one of Pipedream’s silicone vibes. To address an issue in her review again (because it’s important), no, TPR silicone is not the same as medical grade silicone. Silicone itself is a medical grade material, but is not a magic substance when mixed with other, less awesome materials. Porosity is porosity.
Lastly, a special shout out to Heartthrob for this review on a light BDSM kit, even though it’s over a week old. Why? Because I missed the boat last week when I was writing this post and forgot to include it. And, more to the point, because she dominated herself with the kit. As she put it. “…you’re at your own tantalizing mercy.” I love it.
Epiphora has caved to the pressures of sex toy inundation from EF and started her very own blog (or, you know, she just felt like it). Pop over and encourage her in the formative period, why don’t you. Besides, there’s a picture of the Goddess next to a cup of coffee that almost makes me not hate the morning time.
Comic interlude: check out Sleeping Dreamer’s post on how to handle farting during sex.
Getting a blank stare when I mention Andrea Dworkin’s name in disgust on an elite university campus just reminds me how far the sex positive movement has to go. I know I’ve felt alienated from feminist circles and ideologies for any number of reasons, like the party line on sex work. And clearly, I’m not the only one. Check out Ellie Lumpesse’s post about sex work and feminism. I couldn’t have said it better.
About freakin’ time someone made a silicone cock ring. Silicone has come so far since those first stiff dildos to the current joys of Vixskin or O2. Before I go off an a sex toy material tangent, this review of the new pure silicone cock ring by LovingBookworm generated some good discussion about cock ring size and stretchiness. If that doesn’t satisfy your curiosity, check out Jimbo’s description here. Now, time for pure silicone jerk-off sleeves and dual action vibes (do you hear me, California Exotic? Or Vixen or Tantus? Seriously, get on it.)
I talked it over with my partner, and he just couldn’t see his way through to associating pop tarts or candy with lube with blow jobs, but for those of you who can (i.e. Betty), you’re in luck! The review almost convinced me to get some and lube up with it before molesting his mouth anyway.
We’ll end on a sweet note. Vivi wrote a good old-fashioned love letter to her purple anal probe. Now that’s devotion.
Baby Sinead is not just a damn cute up-and-coming porn maven. She’s also got a photographic eye, and treats her blog readers to attractive images like these when she’s done with a shoot. Nice to see a hot naked boy from the female perspective.
However, don’t go thinking about modeling for photo shoots before reading Essin Em’s account of a photo shoot gone wrong. In a hospital. With a patient-photographer, no less.
In keeping with the photographic theme, and in honor of the 25th Folsom St. Fair, check out these pics of various attendees. The last one is definitely my favorite.
Part Three of The Snarling Misanthrope’s “Sex-Ed in the Sixties” series is up. Check it out!
And, if you haven’t noticed yet, the third part of “Life.Love.Cancer” has been up for a few days, too.
And, we’re back… with a bang. First pick for this week’s review roundup (and I do admit to being easily swayed here by the idea of someone who can take a cock this large) is by new reviewer Naughty Boy. I hope his serious engagement with the giant will put to bed any beliefs that such items are novelty only. I also hope some better manufacturers get on the large-scale wagon.
Second, TSM, or Misanthrope as he’s now known on EF, gets cozy with a leather hood. If the hilarity in this review isn’t enough for you, I believe he’s writing about it in conjunction with the Flip Hole over at his blog.
This last review pick by Puck is doubling as a public service announcement, because I just know that some of you are not only into playing with toys, but also into home-made porn. So do yourselves a favor and get this book. I know I’m going to.
I’m not as interested in sex as I was before I got pregnant, but I still don’t want my husband to masturbate! What can I do to make sure he doesn’t?
Even after explaining why a husband masturbates, it’s never easy for a woman to accept. Catching your husband or boyfriend looking at pornography can often feel just as hurtful as if he was having a real affair. It often makes women feel like they’re being sexually rejected in favor of fantasy women they could never compete with.
But it’s a fact; all men masturbate.
I think the reason we don’t talk about it is because many women, especially during pregnancy, choose to be deliberately ignorant of their boyfriend or husband ‘taking care of things’ in privacy. That’s sensible enough. When a woman’s not in the mood, giving her partner a little space and privacy will allow him to make sure his needs are met without disturbing hers. But if the thought of your partner masturbating really troubles you, perhaps it’s worth discussing the subject. Be warned, the likelihood of a man admitting (even to his wife) that he masturbates is slim. That’s why most couples seem to avoid talking about the issue. Read the rest of this entry »
We’re on a temporary hiatus over here while we figure out the process for moving to our new blog. Bigger (’cause you know I’m a size king) and better are on the way, as well as our regularly scheduled roundups and general sexy fabulousness.
Warming, cooling, tingling, enhancing, sensitizing, lasting… when I read about any of the wealth of arousal lubes on the market these days, I end up more confused than anything else. How do they do what they do? And how do they do all these things at once? How does something warm, then cool, or cool, then warm? In pursuit of answers, I investigated the makings of Eden’s most popular arousal lubes, and then went for help. Five bloggers - Ansley Agnello, Baby Sinead, Persephone, ~Storm, and Thursday’s Child - will put five lubes through stringent testing, rate them each, and choose the best. But first, a look into what makes these lubes do whatever it is that they do. The lubes in question: Pure Passion, Climax Bursts Aphrodisiac Enhanced, ID Pleasure, Wet Heating Massage Lotion and, the dark horse pick, JO Clitoris Stimulation Gel. The key ingredients:
1. Menthol: Present in three of our contestants (and numerous other sensation lubes), this is the same substance that gives Vicks Vaporub, Tiger Balm, toothpaste, gum, and some cigarettes their tingly, refreshing sensation.
2. Arginine HCL: Arginine is an amino acid that is considered essential to all mammals. Consumption of L-Arginine (one of the most common forms) has a number of benefits, the most relevant being increased circulation. Interestingly, it’s also been used to treat erectile dysfunction (in combination with other chemical components).
There’s some evidence that consumption of Arginine can exacerbate herpes outbreaks, so people with HSV should avoid this ingredient. Because of this concern, Arginine presence is noted in the safety features of lubicrants on the site; it’s not in four of the lubes in question.
3. Herbs: Panax quinquefolium (american ginseng) root extract, ginko biloba leaf extract, horny goat weed, wild yam extract, guarana seed extract, damiana extract, and others. We are a nation obsessed with, among other things, herbal remedies, enhancements, and so on. Some of these herbs, like horny goat weed, are believed to be aphrodisiacs and also make appearances in various OTC libido enhancement supplements. Some are sold as supplements for other purposes. I’m going to leave the speculation about what these and other herbs do for arousal and sensation alone, and let the testing speak for itself.
Five bloggers, five lubes. Which goo will come out on top?
The Latin root cis means ‘on the same side’ (in contrast to the Latin root trans, which means across or beyond). Gender comes from the Latin genus - kind, sort or class. So, cisgender refers to a gender identity/presentation that matches (is on the same side as) one’s assigned sex, or someone who’s not transgendered. The word was created to be a complement to the term transgender, and as a better alternative to saying ‘biological’ or ‘genetic’ man/woman when distinguishing a non-transgendered individual.
Gender was historically used to simply indicate different types of things, and this has persisted in modern usage, to a degree. For example, connectors and fasteners used in electrical/mechanical trades are gendered male or female. The difference between older usage and these modern ones is that now, those assignments are made in direct analogy to genitalia — the piece with something that protrudes is male, while the piece with a corresponding hole/indentation is female. Gender is also used linguistically: some languages have grammatical gender that assigns a gender to every noun, not always in correlation with the meaning of the word.
Next week- the final installment!
I was feeling very turned on last night, but my husband didn’t make the moves on me. Then, after I went to bed, he stayed up and I suspect he masturbated. Why didn’t he make the effort to seduce me instead?
The reason married men masturbate has nothing to do with finding their partners unattractive. Sometimes, sex while pregnant can just be unsettling for a man. He still adores you and finds you beautiful and sexy, but the bumps and kicks emerging from your pregnant belly can occasionally make the intimacy of sex seem wrong – like there’s a third person in bed with you (and not in the way he fantasizes about!)
Don’t be surprised to find your husband totally insatiable and into your sexy, pregnant body one minute, then unresponsive the next. He has to put up with your mood swings. It’s only fair you do the same in return! Read the rest of this entry »
You’ve probably noticed some new blood around here. We’re changing things up, and I’ll most likely be moving this weekly post to Sundays in the near future.
1. The Story of the Skin-like Material Dildo and the Happy-Family Dresser Drawer. Sure, the entire review of this funny-looking clit vibrator is excellent, but the ‘Experience’ section is what makes it worth reading, even if you’re at work. Mystery is spot-on, with both her toy analysis and illustrative storytelling skills.
2. Yet again, I find myself being convinced to think about bringing home something I hadn’t given a third thought to (because yes, I did consider the desirability of the Tentacle one more time after first seeing it). Even without the harness compatibility, I’m almost sold on this dildo thanks to Bad Influence Girl’s review.
3. In keeping with the weird-looking toy theme, this review was a good read. In part because it’s about a totem pole-looking dildo, I’ll be honest. Sienna was able to appreciate both the functionality and humor of this one.
Alright, so Baby Sinead’s Q&A post about more hardcore/extreme porn sites/companies is a little over a week old, but it’s such an interesting topic- degradation and abuse of women in porn- that I had to share it anyway.
I found ~Storm’s blog a few weeks ago when it was in a lull, but I was happy to discover that her smut is worth the wait.
The Snarling Misanthrope is not only a fantastic new writer on this blog, he’s pretty much the most entertaining read in my RSS feed right now. Keep up with his Sex-Ed in the 60’s series here.
Addendum: this is an older post and an extra for this week, mainly included here because I love Pit Bulls. For those who don’t, this yearly pin-up calendar might convince you to reconsider.
Sorry I’ve been a bit absent with these posts lately. I ran out of inspiration, temporarily.
However, some recent blog posts (have you checked out the newly updated blogroll?) have nudged me out of my dry spell. I was reading one of Betty Rocket’s posts about people in the lifestyle, and had to remind myself which lifestyle she was talking about. It’s one of those words we take for granted these days, but ‘lifestyle’ is a fairly new term, dating back to only 1929 according to the OED.
Coined by psychologist Alfred Adler, lifestyle originally referred simply to someone’s basic psychological makeup that informs their behavior throughout life. Adler referred to this as life style or style of life. Over time, mainly through the forces of marketing and, more recently, sexual subcultures, lifestyle has come to signify a specific type of life style. In this way, there’s been a narrowing of definition here. In initial use, I understand life style as something universal - every person alive would have a certain individual life style. In modern usage, however, lifestyle always refers to some specific way of life, though it needs a modifier to determine exactly which way of life that might be (swinger lifestyle, gay lifestyle, party lifestyle, and so on). Read the rest of this entry »
This is the third out of five total installments of this article, by Roland Hulme.
I found links to pornographic websites on our computer. My husband’s looking at porn! Surely if he’s masturbating to pictures and videos of other women, he doesn’t find me attractive any more!
Men’s sexuality isn’t quite as sophisticated as women’s. We’re very visual creatures and pornography is one of the most satisfying tools to sexually arouse us during masturbation. But the fact that men masturbate while watching bleached-blonde porn-stars do sexual acrobatics doesn’t mean we don’t find our partners attractive any more. In fact, there’s far more going on in our brains than just enjoying what we see on screen. Read the rest of this entry »
Part II of Butterfly Temptress‘ cancer journal series is up; she starts to get into the grit of how illness affects relationships in this piece. Check back mid-week, every week, for updates on the page.
1. Sometimes I include a review based solely on its ability to sell me on something I wouldn’t have otherwise considered. Such is the case with this review of Good Clean Love Oil by the Porn Librarian. Light massage oil that smells good, doesn’t leave a residue AND doubles as decent lube? I’m sold.
2. I’m a bit horrified by this book, but couldn’t help laughing while reading the review. KinkyPink nailed it on the head with her title: “Leave home without it!”
3. One of the newer reviewers, Thursday’s Child, has been writing hot reviews of some excellent toys (like the Rock Chick). I particularly enjoyed this one.
1. I couldn’t stop smiling as I read Essin’ Em’s “Things I do that don’t mean I’m in love with you” post today. No, being nice doesn’t necessarily come with strings attached. I’d like to add my own caveat- “Just because I love you doesn’t mean I’ll do all these things for you.”
2. Bill in Exile is my new favorite spot for pretty men in pretty leather (or nude!). C. Scott provides readers with plenty of new eye candy regularly, but this post is my personal favorite this week (especially that sixth one down in a classic teeth-on-zipper pose).
3. Betty Rocket on couples to watch out for (in the swinger lifestyle). A similar guide could be written about any sexual subculture, and hers is certainly an entertaining read.
by Militant Ginger - rolandhulme.blogspot.com
Why does my husband have to masturbate? Can’t he just put his libido on hold for a while?
The bad thing about marital masturbation being a taboo topic is that women don’t understand why husbands or boyfriends can’t just ‘do without sex’ like women (especially pregnant women) have to do. It comes down to the way men are sexually hard-wired. Men can get sexually aroused at the drop of a hat (if it’s a particularly sexy hat) and while it’s easy to turn them on, it’s not so simple to turn them back off again.
One common joke amongst men is: ‘What’s the difference between hard and light?’ The answer is: ‘You can get to sleep with a light on.’
The fact is, men are permanently producing sperm and need to experience regular climaxes to get rid of it, otherwise they genuinely experience an intense sexual frustration jokingly referred to as ‘blue balls.’ Alfred Kinsey discovered that men who go without sex or masturbation for extended periods of time are more likely to experience nocturnal emissions (what we commonly refer to as wet dreams). Not to mention, the act of masturbation is highly pleasurable, it reduces tension and it’s been proven to reduce the risk of men developing prostate cancer later in life. Read the rest of this entry »
Analtastic, for the win. Any review (or book) that begins with a threesome and ends with anal fisting has got me hooked. Thanks for that, Sienna.
I won’t ever buy a sex toy that’s jelly (crystalessence, etc.). Or cherry-scented, for that matter. But Cosmic Lioness almost had me convinced that I might just want to try this g-spot vibe. I hate to admit it, but it’s true. Read why.
Last, but certainly not least, from new reviewer Baby Sinead, another reason to think about the relative volume level of your vibes. For fun on the airplane, obviously.
Or, When Your Man Has an Affair With His Left Hand…
This is the first installment of a serialized article by Militant Ginger - rolandhulme.blogspot.com.
Let’s be brutally honest about sex and pregnancy. For most men, their partner’s curvy ‘pregnancy’ body is wildly sexy and beautiful. There’s something sensual and uninhibited about making love to a pregnant woman and many men remember ‘pregnant sex’ as some of the best of their relationship.
But pregnancy is also very disruptive to a ‘regular’ sex life- when one partner’s ‘in the mood’ the other sometimes isn’t. Women can feel exhausted or self-conscious, while men can find the whole pregnancy thing unsettling. Nothing wilts an erection faster than feeling a baby give a disgruntled kick mid-coitus! The fact is, there are plenty of occasions during a nine-month pregnancy when a man is left sexually frustrated; even more following the birth, when doctors recommend a six-week break before Mom can resume sexual activity.
Now, I’ve read dozens of articles about how pregnancy affects a couple’s sex life – but none of them have been brave enough to address one topic: discovering their partner masturbating. Nobody ever discusses this rather embarrassing topic, which means many women are horrified when they find their husband or boyfriend ‘taking care of business’ without them.
Pregnancy is an emotional enough experience already! Finding out that a husband masturbates in secret leads most women to worry that they no longer find them attractive - or that it is a precursor to them satisfying their sexual needs elsewhere. But wives and girlfriends don’t need to worry. All husbands and boyfriends masturbate occasionally - especially when a couple’s sex life undergoes the upheaval of pregnancy. It is very common, people just never talk about it. That’s where the problems start. It’s time to address this problem head on and learn more from a male perspective.
I’ve been spending some time lately catching up with the amazing group of bloggers EF’s review program is graced with. Sure, you probably all know about Essin’ Em, AAG, and maybe one or two others, but I bet there are a good few or more you haven’t noticed yet. As I don’t have a blog myself, I have some time to peruse the blogs (sex-related and other) proliferating on the internet these days. Sorry, that wasn’t meant to sound so poetic. So, I’ll be doing a weekly roundup of sorts, highlighting some of the best, or funniest, or whatever-the-hell-I-want-to-show, blog posts from reviewers.
Alright, so this one isn’t exactly current, but it’s funny enough that I had to share it. This is why I warn over and over about not sticking things in your butt that aren’t meant to go in there. And Medusa didn’t even break that rule! I know she linked to this story in her review, but hey, I wasn’t around yet and I’m sure someone else missed that too.
I found this post linked by Ellie Lumpesse, who also has an excellent podcast- check it out! I’ve been reading up on her ‘Musings on Masculinity‘ series, myself. Back the the original link though — it’s an excellent reminder for anyone who believes themselves to be sex-positive that there’s some added responsibility that comes with the fun.
That’s all for today. Coming up tomorrow: the first installment of a series about masturbation and pregnancy by Militant Ginger.
The SaSi is, perhaps, the beginning of a new generation of smarter vibrators. Vibrators that are actually machines, not just motors with batteries. Why? Well, it remembers what you like. I find this hard to imagine, but knowing how far computer technology has come it’s not that hard to believe. Basically, it is pre-programmed with 5 different motion settings. It has two modes- random and ‘learn’ mode. In learn mode, SaSi will change from one movement to another; if you don’t like one, skip it. If you do, press another button to keep it there. Next time you turn it on, it will remember what you skipped, what you liked, and change its pattern accordingly.
Sasi is unique not just for the memory component, but also because of the kind of motion it offers- a nub that simulates a finger moving around, rather than just vibrating (though it does that too). The medical grade silicone sleeve is removable in two pieces (fascia and cover), for better cleaning or if you want to change colors of one or both sides.
No longer a Babeland exclusive, we got the toy in just before its UK/Europe launch in the fall.
“Just like a good partner,” according to Je Joue’s site, “SaSi gives a different experience every time whilst still incorporating the movements you like best.” Wouldn’t that be novel. There might finally be something to that whole ridiculous fear of being replaced by toys.
For a more visual explanation of this remarkable toy, check out Fleshbot’s video demonstration.
Edited 8/29 to add: Also see Bulma’s review!
Genkigirl proves that these nipple clamps are not just decorative in her review (I kinda thought they were).
I can’t agree with her on the choice of sex toy material, but Miss Cinnamon wrote an excellent review of the G-spot Tickler.
Sometimes the discussion is as good as the article- so was the case for Bulma’s review of an o-ring set. Her review was excellent as always, but I was more interested in the resulting comments about cock ring usage.
This is not an interest I have, but it’s a fun word to say (try it!). Klismaphilia is essentially an enema fetish- it denotes the experience of sexual pleasure from thinking about or actually receiving an enema. It’s classified as a paraphilia; depending on who you ask, that means either sexual dependency, unhealthy obsession, or simply nontraditional sexual fantasies/behavior. Read the rest of this entry »
… A vibrating bang, that is. I know you missed me. I’ve been out of town (in more than one destination) for the past week. Here again though, bringing you the top 3 reviews for vibrating toys (I know a majority of toys fall into this category, but it’s more interesting with a theme, m’k).
1. Doc Johnson and Vivid teamed up to design the offspring of two rabbit vibes- the Vivid Bunny. This review by Sin Secret makes me think the toy achieved the good part of those dual vibes- good clit stimulation.
2. It bends, it vibrates, it as bumps- AND it feels good. According to LubedMuse, at least. Their review: “A cicada as opposed to a giant bullfrog”. Go read the rest.
3. Hey everyone, a vibrating cock ring that works! I do appreciate the name of the toy too. Both members of coupling couple were happy with the vibrating abilities of this item. Don’t take my word for it, take theirs.
This week’s picks:
1. Lara nailed it when she said “absence does indeed make the heart grow (a little) bit fonder” in her review of the Lucid Dream No. 28. Hate that new toy? Throw it in a box for a year, maybe it’ll be better second time around.
2. Maybe it’s because I’m in my way to the airport (and share pornojo101’s opinion), but I really enjoyed this review of smut.
3. Programmable vibrator. Fascinating. Check out BlueEyedBitch’s review of it here.
I’ll be out of town for a family affair, so your regular Word column most likely won’t be appearing this week. See you next week!
I don’t have a sex blog, so maybe I have more of a psychological speed-bump to get over than those who already air their sex lives on the internet, but I think Bedpost is just an advanced version of a scorecard, notches on the bedpost, etc. I’m also sure someone might come up with a compelling defense about the worth of this site that might convince me otherwise, but I won’t be jumping on the site-wagon anytime soon.
Any cyclists struggling with penile dysfunction (or a partner’s)? Might be time to blame your bike. Bike saddles aren’t exactly comfortable for anyone; I’d certainly like to test one of these no-nose alternatives.
I’m thinking about starting a weekly best-of-blogs for all those great sex bloggers/Eden reviewers out there. I doubt I know about all of you yet, so leave me a comment with your site!
Most of you will recognize this week’s word as a common term for butt; it may also recall memories of the fanny pack, one of the more memorable fashion offerings of the 80’s. ‘Fanny’ meaning butt is specific to this particular country- the U.S.- and is a fairly new slang term (within the past 50 years or so). In other English-speaking parts of the world, namely British locales, ‘fanny’ is slang for vulva. I’ve always been curious about this variance, so this week I did a little research on the subject. Read the rest of this entry »
Toys that seem like a good idea…
1. The Snugglepuss. Dame Demi (who might as well be called a resident sex toy expert) talks about her experience with it here. For something that does the same things, better, check out the Rock Chick or Zone.
2. Another powerful bullet vibe. Always a good idea, yes? Except that it’s been done so many times, metallic blue finish just won’t cut it anymore, as Epiphora explains here. Check out the Xtreme Pack G-spot bullet vibe.
3. Names like “The Barfing Mode” and “The Motorcycle Shifting Mode” when describing the various settings on a vibrator. These descriptors are definitely a good idea. West Coastin’ gets the third spot this week just for the entertainment value of his review of the Insatiable Butterfly. Check out the silicone version of this toy, or something like the Zone (again with the g-spot toys, we are a nation obsessed) or Gigi.
My format this week is stolen from/inspired by/directing you to a new feature on Eden that I’m pretty excited about. It recommends better toys on the page of a lower-quality item — so now you can really weed through the sea of jelly and find some better toys.
A couple things come to my mind when I hear this word- flavor (as in vanilla extract) and race. Vanilla sex is a widely misunderstood phrase, and its meaning changes depending on which sexual subculture employs it. Just like ‘kinky’, vanilla has a slightly different meaning for everyone. For example, I might call pegging vanilla, whereas I’m sure some of you would not agree. Read the rest of this entry »
1. The Mini G Rock seems to have a popularity that precedes it, based on what those in the know about the inner workings of the review program have told me- lots of requests for this toy. Does it live up to its fame? Find out what new reviewer Cobalt Clouds had to say about it.
2. I think I’ll let Spiking Glue speak for her own review here: “Half the time I hate her, half the time I love her, she’s my pink bitch’.” If that wasn’t enough to make you want to read her review of the Sugar Drop, how about this: “I just… I wanted to fuck her like a dirty monkey…”? Makes me want to go read the review all over again.
3. Follow Ice Ice Baby through her learning process with Bendybeads.The question of using silicone lube with high-end silicone toys came up again in this review; she was kind enough to risk the integrity of these silicone beads and experiment, with good results!
Also, Essin’ Em had the pleasure of attending Thunder in the Mountains, one of the larger BDSM conferences in the country, this past weekend. Check back for the 4-part blog series about her experience. First installment tomorrow.
For starters, I’m not talking here about the nonconsensual act of rubbing one’s genitals against an unsuspecting stranger. That’s actually ‘frotteurism’, though both words are related to the French verb frotter, to rub. Frotteur is the French noun for ‘one who rubs’; hence, frotteurism. Which I don’t endorse, it’s creepy and weird and nonconsensual, in case you missed that the first time I said it.
Moving on, frottage is the (perfectly consensual, and safe!) act of rubbing the genitals on any part of a partner’s body (genital or non-genital region). It is done clothed, naked, in a car, on the dance floor… Frottage is distinguished from irrumatio in being a more general rubbing activity, whereas the latter indicates a couple specific body part arrangements (see my post on irrumatio). However, frottage is also an art technique. Read the rest of this entry »
I don’t have any creative introduction to this week’s review roundup for you… I’ll leave that to Dame Demi, who wrote a sonnet for the Hitachi in our forum this week.
Hitachi Sonnet
Hitachi Magic Wand, I sing thy praise!
For thou hast given me so much delight!
Alone…with other toys…in many ways
You’ve brought me pleasure in the dark of night!
Thou might be hard to clean, and make much noise,
And some would grouse thou only hast two speeds,
But oh! You out-perform a room of boys
With your delightful, most orgasmic deeds!
Your soft and thrumming head I do adore,
That leathery, bendy, vibing tennis ball!
It always leave me wanting more and more!
You have attachments, and I want them all!
Hitachi, I must give you, if you please,
Five stars, five vrooms, and just as many bees.
-DD
On that note-
1. I didn’t think it could be done, but kinkyshay’s review of the Hitachi actually gave me a renewed sense of appreciation for this toy (as did the lovely poem above).
2. Another reminder of the classics, Raising the Stakes explains exactly why a simple cock ring is still worth it.
3. Just in case any of you didn’t see this review yet- Bulma’s tragic, yet hilarious, experience with yet another sensation gel strengthened my belief that those lubes/gels/whathaveyou have no place in my house.
When you have a little more time to muse over some new inventions (and maybe fantasize about adding them to your collection), check these out:
1. The eyedildo, a nine inch acrylic dildo complete with a color camera and LED lighting in the tip, so you can explore deeper recesses of your partner’s body. It runs on AA batteries and hooks up to the television for better viewing. Though the website is a little unpolished (”Explore all the areas you’ve only dreamed of: Labia, Clitoris…” Last time I checked, the labia and clitoris were still visible to the naked eye. And yes, I know that the clitoris is partly internal, but not in a way that allows for camera penetration) there is an entertaining how-to video. I could see this toy adding a new dimension to medical play.
2. Though I’m (happily) removed from the wave of Wii sweeping the nation, I would make an exception to play with the new Wiibrator. It comes with two attachments (for male and female parts) and is a two-player game. Hm, orgasm control anyone? See a (kind of confusing) video complete with hand-motion demonstration here.
A whole host of other tech-inspired toys were just showcased at the Adult Novelty Expo. Check out Regina Lynn’s roundup (the Power Bullet looks like the answer to all bullet failures everywhere, except for its size).
I’m forgoing my usual format this week to write fairly self-serving, though still linguistically-bent, post about the term ‘play’ as used in the leather scene. For those of you not familiar with this, play is the accepted and commonly-used term for any BDSM interaction (scene), sexual or not- play might refer to just a few minutes of flogging someone, or hours of a complex scenario that involves multiple types of stimulation/pain and orgasm. While it’s certainly useful to have a term to refer to kinky encounters that aren’t necessarily sexual (where ’sex’ or any associated slang terms are not appropriate), I have a personal distaste for the word ‘play’ as this term.
Sometimes, simple is best. Simple touches and obvious items can add more thrill to your sexual adventures than overly complicated toys. Three great examples for this week’s roundup:
1. The Tiger, a basic Fun Factory dildo with some extra ridges. The head ridge on a cock can feel so good, so I think adding a few more of those all the way down the length of the shaft was a brilliant plan. Hotflashes & Wetdreams thought so too.
2. Condoms. Trojan extended pleasure, to be exact. No fancy pouches, bumps, extender heads to be had here, just a basic condom with a little extra lube. D of DandE isn’t too shy to share his appreciation of the prolonging lube.
3. Ryder butt plug, possibly the best basic, good-for-beginners butt plug ever designed. Praise for this plug is mounting; in addition to that great review by Calico, it received another good write-up this week from Bulma. I’m about to get one myself, and I don’t even make a habit of sticking things in my ass.
Remember when I promised you a more complex, less common word? Well, I did, and here it is:
Irrumatio- the act of thrusting the penis between various body parts of a partner’s, or into their mouth. So, basically, face sitting/f*cking, a breast job, rubbing a penis between your partner’s thighs, etc. Referring to that first option, irrumatio is a more specific (or alternative?) form of fellatio, depending on how rigidly you define that word
Percussion play is a catch-all term for hitting someone with some kind of instrument